Hiding Behind a Label

The past couple of years have offered me the opportunity to evaluate the things that are truly important to me. REALLY evaluate. It’s been a time of self reflection and if I am being honest, I am not sure I would have found the space for any of this had I not been struggling to keep my head above water in such a big way during this time.

I have discovered that I spent much of my life being concerned with what others think of me. I had an ingrained and extremely unhealthy desire to be accepted – by everyone. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone thinking poorly of me and I am fairly confident when I state that because of THIS, I now deal with panic and anxiety on very regular basis. (Thank you Prozac for clearing the brain fog and keeping me mostly sane.)

I have always had the need to explain any situation. Make sure that my side got shared so that people wouldn’t judge me unfairly. It seemed throughout my entire life though, that the more I tried to explain…to get people to understand that I wasn’t….unkind….dumb….emotional….and any other plethora of words that I was afraid of them labeling me, the more of myself I seemed to lose. I spent all of this precious time in my life worried about what others thought of me….and to be sure that any label I was wearing was a positive one.

If I am being honest, I wanted to only be labeled as funny….talented….kind….compassionate….creative and a whole host of other great things. I would spend energy trying to be certain that was the case. I became a people pleaser as a result. I would work myself into breakdown for others. I would overdo, over apply, over tax myself until I became a heap of yuck trying to deal with regular life happenings for myself and my family. Most of the time, doing all of this for people who didn’t give two squats about me…or who kept me around only to handle things for them.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why are we programmed to be so hung up on these “labels”?

Our social profiles are made up of them. The things we wish to be known by. Our careers. Our marital status. Whether or not we have children. Are those things really who we are? Or are those labels simply a bid for some sort of status? Are we any less if we don’t have children? If we aren’t married? Can’t we be a great human if we don’t have a glamorous career? When did our society make it so right to put a label on EVERYTHING?

I read a story last week about Robert Irwin, the son of the late Steve Irwin. (Crocodile Hunter if you are in my age group.) The story was sharing how he recently refused to wear a rainbow pin at an event supporting the LBGT community. He went on record to state that he fully supported the community (His tireless work has proven that.) however, he would not support labeling this community any differently than any other because in his eyes, EVERYONE should be treated equally without having to sport a rainbow…or a cross…or a star. There were people commenting on this story that were on both sides of the fence. Full support for him standing up for the way our world is filled with division – and then those who were furious that he would put the tiny pin on as a display of support. That pin….a label.

I support Robert Irwin’s opinion.

We should be able to be who we are without the need to wear labels to bring attention to our cause or our worth.

I suppose that is what my big picture is in all of this. I am finally at a place in my life where I simply am content to stop worrying abut what others think of me. If someone can find fault with the way my life is, how I share things or even something that I may or may not have said without knowing me, that is a THEM problem, not a ME problem. I feel that to my core now.

I have no idea when this switch flipped for me. I didn’t read some trendy inspirational book….or listen to this message on a podcast. At some point in the past few months, I just became NOT ok with allowing another human to have that type of influence in my life.

I want to BE a positive light in this world. I want to inspire people to life their own lives authentically. I want to spread kindness in every corner of this world that I visit. I can do and be all of that without a darn label. I am human: THAT is my label.